Being Strong.. a new perspective

I have wrote here before about being strong. About fighting the good fight. About not letting this cancer beat me. I'm going to stay in control of it. Not the other way around. I truly believe that... However... I had 2 blog friends go to be with the Lord this week. Karyn and Hamada, people I have never met, but I have come to love and care about almost on a daily basis.

Karyn lived in Texas and Hamada lived in the United Kingdom. Both fought this cancer with all they had and so did their family.

It would be very easy to go through my list of blog friends and hit the delete button so I wouldn't have to deal with the "real Life" of this cancer. I could just do my thing and be strong and brave and be all into myself and my fight. But that isn't a strong thing to do. See; these are real people, just like me, and these are real family members, just like my family. This cancer isn't just something that is happening in my small world. I pray I never forget that! I need to keep these people in my thoughts and prayers each and every day. Knowing that those thoughts and prayers will came my way sooner or later.

I've said it before and I will say it again...cancer sucks!!!!! but, even with that being said it has helped me be a better person in a lot of ways. So by being strong and dealing with the reality of all this I will become more of the person I want to be, with Christ's help.

So... Karyn and Hamada, even though I never met you face to face, your lives touched mine in a very positive way. Rest now and enjoy your new life with Christ.

The body is sick, but thanks to Jesus the soul is alive and well...

Sometimes it's the little things... A cold

This is the first real cold I have had since I was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma. It might be silly but I was kinda nervous and I didn't really know which Dr. to call or even if I should call or just tough it out. For those who haven't read my blog from the beginning, about two and a half years ago I ended up in the hospital for 3 days because of viral meningitis. Started out like a cold and went down from there. So today, Jenni being more level headed than I was, told me to call and go see my family doctor. So, I did. He got me in right away and I was glad about that.

He went over every thing and told me I had a cold and would survive. He told me what to look for and when to give him a call. I now know, for the future, when I can relax and just be sick and when I need to move and get some help. He assured me that it was a very productive visit because I asked some good questions.

Of course, I can't go see a doctor W/O a needle being involved so he gave me my flu shot and a Whooping cough vaccine. Both are expected to be bad this winter. I hope they are wrong about that as nobody would ever want a child with whooping cough, or the flu for that matter.

I also asked about my exercise and he said I could continue as long as it was shorter and less intense. I did 16 miles tonight and kept it below 18 MPH ave speed. It wasn't pretty, don't ask, but I made it.

That's about it. Not that exciting but a new step in this journey I'm on. It really is about the small things sometimes.

The body is sick, but thanks to Jesus the soul is alive and well...

My first year of having Multiple Myeloma Done - Now on to year 2 !!

It has been one year ago today that I sat down with my oncologist and he confirmed that I had MM. It has been an up and down year for me. From worrying about the future to hoping I had a future and now learning to live with MM day to day.

So let's take a moment and review this last year:

Good news: I feel great and my life is going well. I have a great family and a strong support group.

Bad news: My legs have good days and bad days. Some days they burn, are weak and hurt and other days they are just a little numb. On really bad days I walk funny and that drives me crazy. I guess it embarrasses me and I don't do embarrassment well. I have noticed my voice gets weak just before my "bad" days and returns to normal on good days, strange right??? My medication takes care of most of it.

Good news: The medication allows me to exercise as much as I want. My bicycle riding is up to 100 miles per week and I'm comfortable with that. I enjoy the riding and it helps me keep my weight in check.

Good news: I have a job and it is paying well. I'm learning how to do the job more and more every day. There are 2 local employees who are very supportive and willing to help when I need it. I feel comfortable with handling my customers and most of them are very nice. I will have benefits starting December 1st.

Bad news: I have to wait for a year before the MM will be covered.

Good news: I don't see me going to the next MM level, Stage 2 or 3, anytime soon. I could be wrong about that but so far things are going well. No new symptoms have cropped up and the one I have is well managed.

Bad news: My blood work still shows my M-spike at around 2.0 and my white cells are low. My IGG hovers around 2200 - 2400 (should be a max of 1700). My IGA & IGM are both way low. My free light Kappa's are high. MM people will know what all that means. For the non-MM people it just means that my MM is there and doing what it does.

Good news: Because of the weight loss (over 35lbs so far) and exercise, my cancer numbers were down on July 1st. My oncologist thinks that if I can maintain my weight loss and exercise program I can keep the cancer numbers in check for a long time.

So it was an interesting year. Some ups and some downs. I go and get my cancer numbers again on November 1st and see my oncologist mid-November. I'm excited and a little nervous to see the numbers are but I guess I always will be. My goal is to follow my oncologist's plan and hopefully keep the numbers in check W/O chemo. I know that probably won't last forever, but I will take what I can get. I feel good and I know that God is in charge of all this.

The body is sick, but thanks to Jesus the soul is alive and well...

Ok... I'm working now...

School is over and I have a week behind me on my new job. It is crazy !! There is still a lot to learn and the first of the week was NUTS. Add to that, they gave us Friday off because the current sales team won a contest. I kinda got the swing of things on Thursday. All in all it has been fun and a challenge all at the same time.

I had to reduce my riding goal as I just don't have the time to learn my new job, take care of the house and spend 3 hours on my bike 4 times a week. I'll do fine with 75 miles a week instead of 125 to 150 miles per week.

My weight is staying in line with what my oncologist wants it to be. I think I'll keep my focus OK even with the new job. I guess I'll find put in November when I have my next blood test.

Well that's all that is happening in my life...

The body is sick, but thanks to Jesus the soul is alive and well...

I have a job... now what....

I got hired this week!!! I'll be working for Yellow Book USA as a sales rep. and I'm sure it is a very good fit for me. I've done outside sales before and did well. This is my first base pay plus commission job, so that will be new. I have always been on a just salary job and that is also both good and bad. My Experian Bureau Manager job would have made me a lot more if commissions were involved, but the bank I worked for, well, we we would have starved. So, I'm not really worried about doing OK on this job, it is just different.

I have 3 weeks of training in Irvine Ca. Jenni will come down for the weekend between the first and second week. Then they will fly me home between the second and third. I've also done that before so Jenni and I are OK with that plan. Then I will only travel once in a while.

The thing I'm kinda worried about is my weight and exercise program. I have focused on both of those to control the cancer. It has worked well and the cancer numbers are down and most of the other blood test show improvement. Only thing of concern is the WBC count still going down, but I digress. I will have a lot less time to exercise and I will be eating out more for 3 weeks. The hotel has a gym and I can watch what I eat. I will figure that out when I get there. Hopefully they will have a fridge and a microwave in the room. That will help, a lot!

I had a cold the first of the week and it seems to be gone after my ride today. I guess the bike riding is supporting the "good" immune cells. All in all very excited about going back to work and getting that part of my life back together.

The body is sick, but thanks to Jesus the soul is alive and well...

It worked... now comes the hard part

My Oncologist told me, at my last visit that, if I lost 30lbs and started to push the exercise I might be able to lower my cancer numbers. Well, I didn't really believe him. But I thought that I should give it the old college try. I was having problems with my feet burning and legs that had no energy reserves so I was only able to ride about 5 miles before I just couldn't go on. He put me on some meds. to fix that and it worked great. So I started to ride, like I rode years ago getting ready for a century ride. The medication allowed me to really challenge myself. So I put 100% effort into exercise & my weight loss.

I used a web site called (myfitnesspal.com) and it is great. It is free and very simple to use and it worked. Before my last blood test I had lost the weight and was riding 100 miles+ per week.

When I got my results I was shocked. All my numbers had moved closer to the normal range! My IGG went from 2400 down to 2100. My M-spike stayed the same. My kidney tests were now normal and so was my RBC. My WBC was still a little low but better than last time! By golly it seems to have worked. My oncologist was more excited than I was. He kept pointing to the test results and saying "that's the proof!".

So now what? I'm good at focusing and getting things done. I'm also very good and just letting things go and worrying about it later. This is new to me. I just need to maintain where I'm at and what I'm doing. I've never tried that before. The Dr. doesn't want me to lose any more weight. He said that could be counter productive. He also wants me to keep my exercise where it is. So I'm learning a new skill. Maintaining where I'm at now. I have to eat more, that just feels wrong after 3 months of watching and recording every bit of food that I eat. Jenni is working with me on that. Helping me plan my food intake on days before long rides or the day after. I can't put enough food in my body to cover calories used after a 50+ mile ride. The riding plan is easy as it is something I really enjoy.

So things are going great here. My goal remains the same. To use the diet and exercise to control the MM as long as possible. My Dr. is hoping for it to work well enough to get it undetectable, but cautioned me to not jump on that as it is a BIG goal to accomplish and the MM might not cooperate. I feel great and I'm more positive about the future than I have been in a long while.

I'm getting stronger each and every day!

The body is sick, but thanks to Jesus the soul is alive and well...

The life your given vs. the life you make or to be sick or strong.

We are all given things in life that we have no control of. We are male or female, white, black, Hispanic etc., we are short or tall, we are good looking or not, you get the drift. We also have things in life that happen to us that we have no control of, like injuries or sickness. We can do nothing about these so we have to just accept them and go on.

My body is sick... I have MM and at this point there is little that I can do to change that. The sickness is a daily part of my life. I get up and I have to take my pills. If I don't then my feet and legs are a mess. So, I get up and I go get my pills and start my day.

My Dr. told me that healthy people live longer. What he explained was I needed to get fit and lose the excess weight. It will do as much, if not more, than the treatments that I will have to do in the future. On my last ride, I realized what he was talking about was being strong. I can't help being sick but strong was up to me! It is a choice I have to make each and every day. To be as strong as I can, mentally, physically and spiritually. Sick or not we all have this choice each and every day. The the decision to be strong.

I know that as the cancer grows and things change that I will have to change also. I might not be able to bike ride. I might do well to just keep up some light exercise. I've come to realize that being strong doesn't mean you are the best at what you do. It just means you are the best at what you can do "NOW"!

It is easy to just throw up your arms and let the situation take over. It is harder to say, each day, that I will give the day all I have. At this point "all I have" is a lot. The cancer hasn't made my life that much different. Yes, I have peripheral neuropathy from it but it is well controlled. I'm riding 35 to 45 miles at a time 3 to 4 times a week and I'm averaging 16-17 mph doing it! I haven't been in this good of shape or this strong since leaving the Marine Corps! I've lost over 20lbs and I only have 10 more to go! I feel strong and it feels good!

My son and wife can attest that I don't have a competitive bone in my body. When I play softball, card games, board games etc. as long as everyone is having fun them I'm OK with that. I do strive to be the best I can be when it comes to a task I have in front of me. That spirit is what I tap into when I'm working on being strong. I push myself hard and in the end it is worth it.

So I will continue to push and be strong. It won't stop me from being sick but I'm NOT letting this cancer define who I am. I will live my life until it is over. I will count the miles and the pounds and stay as strong as I can. I will choose each and every day to be strong, cancer or not!

The body is sick, but thanks to Jesus the soul is alive and well...

It's done

The Giant's 5k is done. We spent the weekend in San Francisco and we all finished the run/walk. We had 3 walkers, Jenni (my wife), Jan (my niece), and me. A family friend Crystal ran the 5k. I hurt my left calf many years ago and it stops me from doing longer runs. That isn't a problem as I really love riding my bike a lot more.

Although we had a great time with the Giants run I'm not thrilled with San Francisco. I'm a country boy and a lot of the stuff in the city I just don't get. The bad smells, the noise, and the strange people. I also don't get why they tax you for everything. It was $26.00 per night for hotel tax alone! There is a health tax on food above and beyond the normal state taxes. Parking cost $45.00 per night and even that is taxed! I told Jenni we won't be spending any more time in San Francisco. When I go to UCSF we will stay out of the city and drive in.

It also isn't kid friendly. We had strollers and walked back and forth between the hotel and Giants baseball park. Every time we took our life and the lives of our grand children in our own hands! Every time we walked with the strollers we had people turn their car in front of us while we had the right of way. I guess the 5 to 10 seconds they saved waiting for us to cross made a big difference in their life! It was crazy....

It is also not kid friendly as you don't know what your going to see. We are walking back to the hotel from lunch and a group of naked men were riding their bikes down the street! Yes, you read that right...NAKED MEN! In Redding they would get arrested and would be thrown in jail for public nudity. Nobody seemed to care in San Francisco. Now, I should have expected that as in the application for the run there was a caution not to do it naked. I have done a lot of formal bike rides locally and I have never been cautioned to not ride naked! Luckily we were able to distract most of the kids but one of our young girls make the comment "I saw his bottom"! Not good; as all the kids were under 7!

In the future I'll keep these activities in smaller towns in my area. At least I can avoid most of the crazy stuff.

We raised $590.00. Not a lot but I guess it all helps.

The body is sick, but thanks to Jesus the soul is alive and well...

Life just moves on...

I haven't blogged lately, mostly because nothing new is happening here in California. My neuropathy is under control and I'm able to ride my bike and carry on with my life. I missed a dose last Friday morning because I was watching my grandchildren (3 of them) and by the afternoon it was ugly. Jenni says that she is now in control of making sure I take my pills. I guess these pills really do make a difference!

My bike riding is going well. I comfortably do 25 miles with an ave. speed of over 15 mph. I'm happy with that distance and ave. speed. I'll never go "pro" but it will keep me in shape and that's what it is all about.

My weight is slowly going down. I only have 10 lbs. to get to where my oncologist wants me to be. I have until July 15th to get there. I'm sure I can do it. I'm already down 17 lbs. and the plan continues...

I stopped taking my high blood pressure medication this morning! I've had to manage it very carefully when riding my bike. It was dropping to very low levels and I was getting weak and dizzy after my rides. The last week the weakness and dizziness was happening W/O a bike ride. I started tracking my blood pressure and it is staying in the 120/60 range all the time, even W/O the medication. I don't think any Dr. would be concerned with that range! So I'll stop taking it and just continue tracking it every few days. If it goes back up...then I'll start taking my pills again! Managing this doesn't take a rocket scientist so I feel OK doing it on my own. The exercise and weight loss is doing it's job!

Our run for MMRF is in less than 2 weeks in San Francisco. We didn't collect very much money (about $500) but I'm sure everything helps. I have 4 team members doing the run. I also have my son doing the 1/2 marathon. It includes a A's vs Giants baseball game so we should all have a very good time.

That's about all I have to go over. I feel great and I'm praying that my July MM #'s are down. I'm giving it all I have...


The body is sick, but thanks to Jesus the soul is alive and well...

The new outlook

Things are looking up here at the Ritter household. Now that my meds are all figured out and I can ride my bicycle again. I feel like I lost 10 years in age. I'm riding with new purpose and feeling great doing it. I've really struggled with having Smoldering MM. It is something you watch, not something you treat! That doesn't fit my personalty. I'm a "let's get it done right now" sort of a guy.

On that note, I was able to spend some time talking to my oncologist. He said I needed to lose 20+ pounds, below 25% BMI, and add a bunch of exercise to my week. He then explained that it really wasn't a suggestion but part of his treatment plan. Now he had my attention! A treatment plan, NOW! He explained that although he didn't have any research to back it up, he has noticed that his patients with MM do much better when they follow his advise and get fit. He had several patients where their cancer numbers went down when they got in shape and stayed there. He did caution that it might not be my experience, but if it wasn't, then I would know I gave it all I could. I totally agree with that. I want to give myself all the advantages I can in fighting this thing. I never want to look back and ask myself, what if you had just done that? There is enough confusion just picking the many treatment options available for MM patients. This is a simple treatment that I feel can only help, not hurt.

So now when I'm thinking about not getting on the bike. Going ahead and having that big burger instead of something healthy. I just think to myself, are you going to skip your treatment medications when things get hard or when they make you feel bad? I then get off my butt and get it done or eat the way I know I should! My friends say that I'm crazy that way, I make up my mind and it just happens. I guess they are right about that, I never really just sit on the fence. I make up my mind and away I go.

Jenni is fully supporting me and is tagging along. We bought some Walmart comfort style bikes and she is riding with me about 2 or 3 times a week. This morning she asked to double our normal ride tomorrow! All I can say to that is "You go girl!!!".

On a sad note: We had a friend here in Redding die this week of cancer. He had a very nice wife and 3 young boys. All I can say is how sad that makes me. This cancer thing SUCKS, not just the MM but all cancer! It doesn't really care that you have 3 boys to raise, or if you have 5 grandchildren to watch grow up. When it hits it hits.

Well enough of the downer part because I do have a good outlook on what is happening. My life is full and surrounded by wonderful people both here in Redding and in the blogisphere.

The body is sick, but thanks to Jesus the soul is alive and well...

A change in Season

It is spring here in Northern California and I like it. We are still getting some rain and wind but mixed in with that are sunny and 80+ degree days! The wild flowers are in full bloom,and me being a cyclist, I really get to enjoy it! We have lots of big open fields where I ride and there is no better time of year to ride by those fields. Nice and green and full of flowers. Things will turn brown much to soon but I will enjoy it as long as it lasts.

Jenni has also noticed my mood change. Mostly because of the medication for my PN. However; I think some of it is the nicer weather and being able to get out and ride. When I ride I can think, and I usually don't think "bad" when I'm on the bike. I normally feel strong and that helps me feel positive about my health and life in general.

I've also noticed a change in the bloger's postings lately, more positive and uplifting. I think spring has that effect on people. The clouds are going away, we can be outside doing things and the sun is bright, warm and inviting. It picks up the spirit and you really do think you can take on the world again.

I'm also watching a web cam of 3 new eaglets growing up in a nest. It's fun watching new life grow. It is a great use of the internet. Even 5 years ago you couldn't really watch something like that on a day to day basis. Just this week the chicks have gone from gray down feathers to more adult black feathers and are starting to stand up!

So we have new life all around us and it makes you understand that life is a cycle. It begins, grows, reproduces and then it is gone, all to start again the next spring. What a wonderful system God has created!

I hope everyone can enjoy this spring, even if it includes cockroaches..right Dan?

The body is sick, but thanks to Jesus the soul is alive and well...

Balancing the drugs....

I've never been one to keep taking pills.  I took them to fix something, an infection, a hurting arm, neck pain etc.  Then off them and on with life.  So about 1.5 years ago my regular doctor and I made the decision it was time for me to hit the blood pressure medication.  So that was my first pill I took every day.  Then came the cancer and my oncologist had me start taking vitamins every day.  I had never taken them before because Jenni is a great cook and I felt I had a balanced diet and didn't need any.  I trust my oncologist so I followed his advise and the number of pills went to 4.

Then came my peripheral neuropathy and the number jumped to 5 at one time, one later in the day.  He is also having me lose 20lbs and increasing my exercise.  Jenni isn't happy about the 20lbs.  She thinks I will be to skinny. But again I trust my oncologist so I'm complying. 

After the PN pills I started feeling GREAT when I worked out.  I increased my bike miles from 11 to 21 miles and increased my ave. speed from 13 to just below 16 mph.  A much better workout. However; something new kicked in.  I was very light headed, to the point that I couldn't stand but for a few min. after the workout.  I always take my blood pressure at 30 min. post workout and it was getting down to 112/58.   It is probably lower than that when I first get back. I guess that is just to low. I made the decision to not take my blood pressure medication before a big workout.  I've tried that twice now and both times my blood pressure has stayed up and I've felt much better.  It looks like a very simple fix.  So the next question was, go off it completely?  Well I took my blood pressure yesterday after about 2 hours post workout and it was 142/78.  Still to high on the top number so I'll keep going on it, I'll just be careful before workouts.

Again, I would like to thank the other bloggers for their posts on managing their medications.  It gave me the confidence to make the change and go with it.  If their examples are any lesson, it's that I'm probably just starting down the road to managing my medications.

The body is sick, but thanks to Jesus the soul is alive and well...

Strange Blessings from cancer....

Who would ever say that cancer can have blessing associated with it.  That would be crazy, right? However; it is my experience that cancer, as bad as it is, does come with some blessings.  I have lived my life trying to always look for something to be happy about in all situations.  I think that a positive attitude carries you further down the line than a negative one.  That being said, this has caught me by surprise. It crept up on me...without me realizing it was there.

I was talking to my pastor last night after church.  I was telling him about the people I'm met and the things I have going on, because of the diagnoses of cancer.  It got me thinking more about what I was really saying to him, and myself.  Has God really used this cancer to change my life for the better?  I have to say a definite YES!

Before I started this walk I did things in the community with my hands.  I worked on church bathrooms, I mowed lawns, painted.  I was a volunteer fireman for 25+ years.  I gave platelets to the local blood bank since I was in my early 20's.  All things I could do without giving of my heart and soul.  At that point in my life I think that is what God needed me to do.  Somethings I think strong hands are just what is needed.

About 5 or so years ago I went on a very large forest fire and at the end of it, I had the realization that it was a younger mans game.  So the fire fighting thing came to an end.  During the last few years I have noticed that the requests for these strong hands has come less and less. I've noticed the younger men being asked and I've had to jump in and say, me to!  Then comes the cancer and the platelet donations have to stop. I realized a season of my life was slowing coming to an end.  Now what!

I started to research the cancer to really find out what it was all about.  I started to find blogs and I started to read them. 

As I read the blogs, I started caring about the people on the other side of the computer! Not just as bloggers but as people.  I was worried about their daily struggles with treatment, side effects and daily living with MM.  I started to support them, encourage them, just small words to let them know I was here and I cared and was praying for them, daily!  Now I have friends all around the world!  People I care about, yes, really care about.  I've never met a one of them in person but it doesn't seem to matter.  It is a joy to read and pray for them each and every day.  What really caught me by surprise was that it started to be a blessing, to me, to do that!  To make a little difference in somebody's life.

Then came the shocker for me.  I follow a blog from a person named Dan.  Now Dan is going through his 3rd bone marrow transplant.  This time with cells from his brother.  I was reading and commenting at every blog post he made.  I would worry and pray for him as his transplant got closer and closer.  One day he blogged about something his daughter had said.  Dan I hope you don't mind me coping this from your blog but this is what it said, " Julia called me the other night, "dad, who is Steve Ritter? How do you know him?" Well, I know him only by his blog. "Well, he certainly is a nice man," she responded. Yes, all of you who continue to support us are very nice, indeed. Thank you.".  WOW... Dan & his daughter noticed what I said!  For the next two days I had a smile half a mile wide.  It really is something I can do...Support and pray.  It was and is still a blessing that Dan and Julia gave me and for that I will always be thankful.

In my research I found out that this cancer was rare and I only expected to find a few, if anyone, in my area who had it!  Well I was wrong.  There was a article in the paper from a wonderful woman who had it and she was starting a support group.  I didn't go for awhile, I didn't need a support group right now!  Next was a project I started.  I'm doing a fund raising walk/run for MM research through the MMRF.  I thought to myself "the local MM support group was a good place to take fliers to drum up more help with that!"  So Jenni and I went to the group with the fliers.  I had a great time.  I understood where they were coming from.  I got to tell my story and enjoyed listening to their stories.  There were a lot more patients and care givers than I thought there would be in our small area!  I came home and started to think, it is always dangerous when I start thinking!  My thought was "it was nice to be there on Saturday once a month but what if somebody needed some support during the rest of the month?"  I emailed the lady who started the group with the idea of starting a web page for the group.  To make a vehicle for them to get support from the group between group meetings. What a positive response I got back.  She was hoping and praying that somebody could do a web page for them!  I got busy.. The page is ready to go this week and I'm real excited to see it launch!

So, it is kind of crazy to say that there are blessings in having cancer but in a strange way it is true.  It has opened a whole new season of my life. I feel good physically so I have the ability to go out there and really make a difference in myeloma patients lives.  I'm know I'm just starting down this path but I also know wherever it takes me the blessings will be mine. God has walked me into a new season of my life. One that allows me to still use my hands but also my heart and soul. He really does know what he is doing!

Last I would like to thank all the patients and care givers that I have come to care about, Karyn, Nick, Pat, Ruth & FL in Scotland, Susie in the UK, Denise (Tim's wife), Katy here in Anderson Ca., and finally all the other people I've come to know in the short 6 months since I've started down the MM path.  Knowing you is a blessing to me and I pray each and every day that your fight, or your support of a love one fighting, will be successful and that good health and happiness comes your way. I know that it has come my way!  I'm also confident there will be more good people to get to know down the road!


The body is sick, but thanks to Jesus the soul is alive and well... 

Another very short post

I've been on my medication for a week now.  It started out rough but after a week all the side effects are gone.  My feet feel like feet 90% of the time, I've not had the latex glove feeling in my hands for several days.  Even after 10 or so hours the pills seem to be working. 

My exercising is going well.  The medication,  Gabapentin 300 MG - Twice a day, is helping me.  My legs don't have that heavy, fatigue feeling at about 5 miles.  I haven't "hit the wall" even on longer rides.   I can get deep breaths when climbing hills.  I still get tired but it is a normal tired.  More riding will help take care of that!  How much is this the medication?  I'm not sure but I'm glad to be where I'm at now.

The body is sick, but thanks to Jesus the soul is alive and well... 

Feeling great

Just a quick post today.  Just wanted to update the last post about my new medication.  All the side effects are almost gone now.  I expect that to get better and better as the week goes by.  My feet and hands keep feeling better.  I can tell when it gets about 8 to 10 hours since my last dose because my feet start heating up and my hands get less sensitive to touch.   Not even close to what I was feeling before the medication.  It keeps me on schedule taking my next dose.

I wanted to try a ride on my bicycle.  I got out about 7 miles and the wall wasn't there!  My legs didn't have that heavy fatigue feeling, my hands weren't asleep on the handlebars, and I could get a deep breath in on the hills.  I started to really push the ride!  I was enjoying being out there again.  It almost brought tears to my eyes..If I wasn't smiling like a little league boy with his first real home run!!  I must have looked silly to the people driving by.  A guy riding a bike with a great big grin.

My wife is liking the new and improved me.  She said it was nice having me back again.  I didn't realize how much this has affected me.  I'm sleeping all night and I'm sure that is a big part of all this.

So...It's Saturday and I'm off to my grand daughters soccer game.  This time in tennis shoes like a normal person.

The body is sick, but thanks to Jesus the soul is alive and well...

Figuring out the Puzzle and learning to talk to your doctor

I got my numbers back from my blood test and most I understood.  The ones I didn't understand, I made the decision to ask my Oncologist about so I made an appointment.  Now you have to understand that I was a Marine and a firefighter.  When things hurt or you don't feel up to par....so what...  You have a job to do so get it done! When you have a fighter aircraft to get in the sky or you have a fire or medical call, you have to give 100%.  It really doesn't matter how you feel.  People are counting on you to do the job and do it well. Lives really can count on that and the good marines & firefighters take that seriously.  I have learned that lesson well and mostly live my life that way.  So when I started to have numb burning feet..well I'll just live with it.


The other part of this story is I'm smoldering Myeloma.  Read up on that and all the information says that smoldering is asymptomatic.  I should not have any symptoms at this time so it can't be the myeloma!  Well; the hot feet got to the point that I couldn't wear normal shoes.  Jenni took me to buy sandals.  I don't really like sandals.  They are never the go to foot wear for me.  Last Saturday was cold and a bit rainy.  My grand daughter had a soccer game.  I wore my sandals but by the time I got to the field I had to take them off.  My feet were on FIRE, wearing sandals!  Less than 50 degrees and here I am with a coat and waving my bare feet in the air to cool them off.  I must have looked crazy!  I made the decision to speak to the doctor about them.

Yesterday was my appointment.  I was a little embarrassed to even bring it up.  I told him my sad story and he very quickly said "Myeloma induced peripheral neuropathy"! I said "but I'm only smoldering and I shouldn't have symptoms".  He smiled and said it not that simple. Wow, what a shock that this cancer isn't simple.  We as MM patients find that out fast. He gave me a prescription.

I got the prescription and took one about 6:30 last night.  Within a hour I wasn't feeling well at all. I was a little dizzy, a little sour in the stomach and sleepy.  I made it until 9:30.  I went to bed with feet on fire and sick.  I was really upset thinking that these pills were not going to work.  Next thing I know it is 5:30 in the morning.  My feet felt like feet, my hands felt like hands.  My arms hadn't gone asleep and my legs didn't ache.  I felt rested and ready to hit the day.  Now my wife is quietly sleeping and I wanted to wake her up and scream about how good I felt.  No, I didn't do that, but I wanted too!  So I waited until the alarm went off and she had her shower.  I started to tell her how I felt.  She summed it up better than I can so this is what she said, "You're acting like scrooge on Christmas morning".  I was, I wanted to go outside and tell everyone just how good it feels to be back to myself.  Can I do a handstand now????   The pharmacist said it could take up to 7 days for my system to get use to the medication.  A small price to pay to feel this good.

On my numbers... most were up but not so much as to be a concern yet.  Renal function numbers are out of normal, but not enough to worry about.  Cancer numbers are up but going up slowly.

I guess I need to learn to not be so Marine about this stuff in the future.  Myeloma is a complex puzzle that each of us needs to put together with the help of our doctors. What happens to you may not happen to me and visa-versa...  My myeloma has a symptom and it can be fixed, if I just let my doctor know.  Now comes the hard part.  To learn what is important and what is just normal.  It's complex but I think with my wife and doctor I'll find the balance.

The body is sick, but thanks to Jesus the soul is alive and well...

It's just a number & the blessing and a curse...

I got my test results today.  My first focus was on my M-spike... It has become my score of where my myeloma is now and is going.  It has ranged from 1.6 to 1.9.  It came in today at 2.0!  Looking at it logically it is really close to what it has been.  However; it is my first 2. I don't want a 2 in my score.  Now I also know that it varies from test to test and could be back in the 1's in 90 days.  I explained it to Jenni this way.  You have worked hard to get your weight under control.  You get down to 165.00.  You had a hard weekend and you look at your weight and it is 169.9!  Now you don't like that number but at least it didn't go up to the next level.  You get on the scale the next day and now you weigh 170.0.  Only one tenth of a pound but psychologically it is a big difference.  Crazy right???

Now I had some additional tests done.  I really didn't know what they meant.  There were several that were high and I needed to know why and what the test measured.  I went on the internet and found them one by one.  All but one said the reasons that they could be high...add several conditions that could cause it... Multiple Myeloma was always the first reason on the list.  That made total sense.

One was different.  It was a MCH test.  It was also high and I spent about an hour trying to find out what it was all about.  I finally found out when your MCH is high your B12 is low.  One of the symptoms of that was burning feet or hands!  I have been fighting that symptom for about a month now!

I called my oncologist and asked his nurse if it was a problem and should I see the Dr. about it? She said yes, with authority, and transferred me directly to the front office to get me in.  It will be nice if I can just take a B12 shot and go on with life. Myeloma can cause your B12 to get low because the cells that store it are affected by the myeloma... But... Self diagnoses using the web?  That is the curse of all this.  The web doesn't know me, my myeloma or all the stuff this cancer can cause.  They just dump all the reasons, causes and cures out there for you to figure it out on your own!  Maybe I'm right and it will be easy to fix, maybe I'm wrong and it won't be as simple.

The blessing is you can find out some things without the cost of a Dr. visit.  You hear a snip it of information and you get on line to figure it out.  The internet is always there to help. Then for some things it can freak you out!  For those times you just need to put the computer away, try to relax and trust your oncologist, the internet curse.

So I'll go and spend some time with my Dr. ask all the questions about the tests and hopefully go away with a better understanding of where I'm going...on this walk God has put me on!

The body is sick, but thanks to Jesus the soul is alive and well...

Out of my comfort zone

I'm trying something new... Something I have never done before....

I'm setting up a fund raiser through the MMRF.  It is a run that is already scheduled for June 12th in San Francisco.  http://sanfrancisco.giants.mlb.com/sf/giant_race/index.jsp


I have set up a team of 5 runners/walkers so far and I even have a couple of donations!  It is easy so far but the BIG fund raising hasn't started yet.  I'm working just as hard to see if I can get additional people to run/walk and get donations!  I created a fund raising page with the MMRF.  They take care of the $$ donated so I won't have to track and bank a bunch of cash and checks!  That's good news as I'm always unsure about people who are just asking for cash.  I wonder if that cash really gets to the cause.  This way it is directly through the foundation and my donors can be sure of where their $$ are going.

Here is my donation page:  http://www.active.com/donate/2010RunOwnRace/Stevenritter

I really hope this works well and my team and I can collect some serious $$ to fight this cancer.

I'll keep the blog updated on our progress.

The body is sick, but thanks to Jesus the soul is alive and well...

I guess I'm guilty of being dog crazy...

Jenni and I planned a nice trip to Tahoe to watch the grandchildren while my daughter & her husband did some business stuff. We also planned a day just for us. It was a great weekend filled with us, kids and fun.

One problem was what to do with our new 4 month old puppy. She is crate trained and doing really well and we were letting her be a puppy before I started doing formal training. We have never had to board our dogs before because of our previous situations. Kids at home or just having dogs old enough to take care of themselves, with a little help from family. We had left Lucy, our puppy, with her mom last time. However, Lucy is growing fast and is full of all the energy that a Brittney is known for. She has become just too much for her mom to handle.

We got a referral from a trusted friend about a family that did dog boarding close to our house. Now this friend has had dogs for years and we know them to be loving, caring people who I would leave Lucy with in a second! However, again Lucy is a puppy and a handful, and they are also getting use to a new dog in their family.

I called and spoke to the boarder and he seemed very nice. We went over Lucy, her being a puppy, me holding off on formal training etc... He seemed like a good fit and affordable. I made the appointment.

Upon getting there I was taken back by where they were going to keep Lucy at night. It was 2 rows of large dog carriers, the kind you transport your dog to the vet in. However, I told myself it was only at night and Lucy was small. The lady seemed a little strange and I got a uncomfortable feeling. We had to leave that day so I had few options. I went over Lucy with her and she put Lucy in the play yard.

About 1/2 hour before we left she called me. She said that Lucy's ears were really dirty and she would like permission to clean them. I said OK. She said she was surprised that she didn't have an infection. That surprised me because I had Lucy into my vet just a few days before. They always do the same thing each time. They pull her ears back and look/smell them, look in her mouth, press on her tummy ect.. Then they take care of whatever I have taken her in for. I was surprised that they didn't say anything. No problem having her clean Lucy's ears... wrong...

She then said that Lucy chased her cat. I told them Lucy chased cats. She is a bird dog. She chases them and when she gets close she just points at them.. That's what pointer's do... She doesn't want to catch it just get close and point. She said to correct it she used a pinch collar and the problem stopped. Remember it was 1/2 hour before we left and I didn't know what a pinch collar was. I asked if other than that, if Lucy was OK. She said she was.

On to the vacation....

On Sunday Jenni called and asked how late we could come get Lucy. She said 6:00pm no later. If we were later Lucy would have to spend another night. She then said that she forgot to tell me that the ear cleaning was an additional $15.00! Jenni got off the phone and said she wanted her dog back NOW! She also didn't have a good feeling about her being there.

I agreed and we headed home as fast as we could and not get a ticket. We got there with 20 min. to spare and took our puppy home. When we got home Lucy, as excited as she was headed right for her food. She ate and ate and ate. When she was done I checked her ears. They were clean except a cut where she nicked her ear trimming the hair.. Now I'm getting mad. I then looked up what a pinch collar was. 

 They used this thing on my puppy!  I looked it up and all the good trainers said you never use one of these things on a puppy!  They should only be used by a trained professional and only to change dangerous behavior like running into the street or fighting!  This boarder used one on my puppy without my permission!

Well I think you can guess I'm never going to take my puppy back there again.  These people are nuts.

I take a lot of pride in having the best trained dog in the block.  I have never had to resort to these types of training tools.  I think that if you use love, caring and a positive experience a dog will want to do what you are asking of it.  Training should always be fun and a positive experience for the dog.  It has always worked for me! And yes...I think I have always had the best trained dog on the block.

I'm really sad that Lucy had to go there.  It is my fault because I didn't do my homework and insure that she was in a safe loving environment.  Now I will take some time and go find a boarder that will fit Lucy's and my needs... It is only the right thing to do!

The body is sick, but thanks to Jesus the soul is alive and well...

A learning experience...

I made my last blog and then modified it and sent it off to some TV, News Paper and that type of places. I thought it was a different take on all this Health care stuff. I got a call from my local TV station asking me to do an interview on the subject...

I agreed and I made a promise to myself that I would just keep to the facts! No opinions, positive or negative, on the pros or cons of health care. Just my concerns about what has happened to me concerning government health care, my being turn down and what that holds for my future.

I knew there was a risk doing this. I have heard horror stories about people doing interviews that came out 180 degrees different than what they expected. I told myself that if I kept to the truth, didn't overstate what has happened and kept it positive, I should be OK... I was WRONG!!!!!

A very nice reporter came to my house. She asked me questions for about 1/2 hour. I explained what I went through and the outcome. I also explained Jenni's and our discussion about our finances and further treatment options. I also made the point that I was basing all this on my situation as it stands right now. We then went into the video part of the interview. She asked me basically the same questions and I gave the same answers. We then went around the house doing "set up shots". Later in the day she told me the interview would be on at 6:30pm.

I watched it and was shocked & horrified ! I was embarrassed and I really just wanted to crawl in a hole! It was NOTHING about why I agreed to do the interview! I came across as a whining, feel sorry for me person who is just waiting for government health care to solve my problems! They did that by basically running the "set up shots" and doing voice overs!

I emailed all my friends and family and apologized for what they saw and I emailed the reporter with my disappointment. The good news is that she agreed to pull my story from airing again. It could have aired at 11:00pm and on the morning show. I have my DVR set to record those times so we will see if she was being truthful with me.

I guess this is a lesson learned. Don't trust the media to report an honest story! I will never look at stories in the news in the same light again. It is really true, when you give an interview you don't know how it will be spun.

I think it is really sad that America has come to this point. That nobody can question the political correctness of a government program. Even if to just ask some simple questions. The story is killed, the experience is behind me and I'll keep smiling and supporting all my great new MM friends...

The body is sick, but thanks to Jesus the soul is alive and well...

Heath Care Reform

Jenni and I are scared.

They did it. They passed the health bill. So now what? I'm an unemployed prior Marine who has cancer and was flat turned down for VA Benefits (government health care). Now they have made it so my personal health care benefit premiums will sky rocket to the unaffordable level.

My assets and savings can only go so far. I don't see myself using them all up to fight this cancer and leaving Jenni without any reserve for her senior years. She asked me this morning "what can I do to help you now?" I had to tell her I didn't know. Her eyes teared up and so did mine. How can you tell a wife that we just have no options left.

One thing I have learned is this is an expensive cancer to fight. My savings would be gone in a matter of weeks/months when I start needing treatment. We would have to use it all, sell the house etc. I just can't/won't do that to Jenni! I have loved and cared for her too long! It cost me about now $3500.00 per year just to keep an eye on my cancer. That doesn't include any treatment. It can cost over $8000.00 per month for drug treatment, not including hospital or clinic costs!

They say that some Americans can expect Government benefits is 4 or 5 years..but only some of us... I've already been turned down for VA. They were very nice, they nicely showed me the door. Jenni will have to quit her job and we will have to sell our home to even come close to getting the VA to provide benefits. So what will we do until the new benefits kick in?

I will continue to do the things I've been doing. I will look for employment, I'll take my daily pills, eat right and exercise, and yes...pray..

I guess the only thing I can do now is tell my story to as many people as will listen until next November and maybe get a representative who will really care about his/her constituents.

This is also the last political post I will put in my blog. I understand that there are other M/M patients out there with other points of view. I hope this Health bill works out for them better than it will for Jenni and I. I don't want to make my blog uncomfortable for them to read. I pray for all of them daily to beat this cancer.

Jesus never promised us a long life here on earth. He only promised that he would be there for us when we need him. Like my pastor said "Pit happens"... I'm just glad that Jesus is here with us in this pit. I'll be fine... Now back to smiling and getting the best out of the life I have left!!!

What a sad day for America. :-(

The body is sick, but thanks to Jesus the soul is alive and well...

Life is Good

I think God is up in heaven just laughing at me....Yes, I think he has a sense of humor.

Last blog I was down about the savings $$$ just slipping away. I was really scared to do my taxes because of the unemployment etc. Well; we got a good refund back... The Lord once again is taking care of the Ritter clan! I'm glad he doesn't do things based on my limited faith...

The weather is turning and getting nice up here in Northern Cal. It is bumping up against 80 degrees this week. That has given me a good window to get back on the bicycle. That always helps my mood as I have a lot of alone time to think. It also makes my mood good because I'm doing something other than worrying about the stuff in my life. So I get a double dose of good mood and that's a good thing.

The puppy is growing like an unwanted weed! She is almost 20 lbs! What a hand full but I'm also really enjoying her. She is getting old enough to start some very basic training. She does great, still a puppy, but she is getting the basics down.

Really nothing new on the SMM front. I'm just waiting to go do my next blood test. That will happen April 1st. Staying on my vitamins and calcium. My cold is now gone :-)!!!

That's about all.. life is good at this point.

The body is sick, but thanks to Jesus the soul is alive and well...

Health care costs

Kind of a sad day today. I got ANOTHER bill from UCSF... They want another $700.00! Now don't get me wrong, they gave me great care and attention and I trust them. However on unemployment it is eating my savings alive! I consider myself blessed that we were able to save when I was working. I have the $$ for now.

I applied for Government run health care, VA benefits, they were also very nice... they nicely showed me the door. No help there. I have to be homeless and on the street for another full year before they will even consider me for health care. Plus Jenni works and because of that I still don't think I would qualify. Maybe I need to divorce her and then just live in sin...Just kidding Sweetheart!

So some decisions need to be made. I'm smoldering and at this point, not needing any treatment. The quarterly blood tests are all I need until next December, very affordable. They want me to do a bone marrow biopsy once each year with bone scans. My M-Spike is 1.9 right now. If my M-Spike stays below 3.0 I think I will forgo the biopsy, very high cost procedure. I can call Dr. Martin and get the whole body scan prescription and re-new the blood tests until I go past 3.0. That will save me all the high cost testing and hold the money in savings until I really need it. I know that comes with risks. I know of one M/M patient who's M-Spike was low but was at 80+ on the plasma count! However; nobody ever told me life was W/O risk. We need to manage that risk and move ahead...

I get emails from the support group in San Francisco and they offered help with deductibles and co-pays but I don't think I'm there yet. There are patients who couldn't get much needed "treatment" without that help. I don't want to go there and maybe prevent that help from being used for a person who is actively treating this cancer. I know with smoldering myeloma I'm in a strange category and being in this situation doesn't make it any less weird.

Soooooo....I'm keeping a smile on my face and a spring in my step knowing that today is the day the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it! He will take care of me or call me home... Both are acceptable options!

The body is sick, but thanks to Jesus the soul is alive and well...

Trip to San Francisco & MMRF Seminar

Jenni and I made a day trip to San Francisco. We walked the pier and had a nice time at lunch together. We went to Jack's crab shack near the pier. Don't go there... It was just OK food and the beer I had was watered down :-(. The lunch cost a bloody fortune and wasn't worth it. We then went to Pier 39 and bought some candy for home. Driving to Union Square I got stopped by the SFPD because I can't drive in the city. I didn't get a ticket, just a warning and I'm sure a good laugh by the officer.. City people always get a good chuckle about us rural folk. Then Jenni and I shared a great piece of cheese cake at Cheesecake factory at the top of Macy's.

After that it was time to go to the seminar put on by the MMRF. Several good speakers and 4 topics of interest to M/M patients. I came away with a much better knowledge of how the MM cancer cells work and how they are taking that knowledge and targeting treatments to attack the cells. They went over the new and improved treatments and the future of clinical trials. They also had a speaker on supportive treatments. It was a lot of info but well worth the trip. Jenni just said her head hurt from all the data!

I did come away with a feeling that I was there too soon in my walk with this cancer. They made several mentions of smoldering M/M patients but they stopped before giving any helpful information. I'm getting a little frustrated because I feel SMM patients are the step children of the M/M world. We just wait & wait & wait.... It might be better for me to consider going to this kind of seminar after I need to start treatment. I trust my MM oncologist, Dr. Martin (he presented the clinical trials part of the program), so to wait until I'm in active MM might be a better plan. In their own words, "things are changing at the speed of light". Information gained now might be out of date by the time I'm needing treatment.

I really don't know what to expect & when. Like I've said before I'm not good at waiting, I like to take clear and quick action. However; when "they" talk about smoldering myeloma "they" just always say watch and wait.

We met a great couple setting in front of us. He also has SMM and was diagnosed about the same time as I was. I got his name and contact information and gave him mine. It will be nice having a contact who is in the same stage as I'm in! They have been to some support groups and Jenni and I would like to meet them again at one if we can work it out.

I guess I'm being selfish about all this. The patients with active MM are the ones who need the help more than me. So... in that vein... I'll stop complaining and be glad I'm where I'm at, and the blessing of the time I have before I really need treatment! OK..I'm back to my same old smiling self.....:-)

We left before the question and answer part because we had a long drive ahead of us to get home. Jenni and I had a nice dinner at Chili's and we got home about 11:30pm. That's really late for me as I'm a morning person but we made it OK.

All in all a great day of fun and information and both Jenni and I are glad we went. I would like to thank the MMRF for putting it on.

The body is sick, but thanks to Jesus the soul is alive and well...

The balance.... and being brave.

I just got the news, through a daily blog I read, that a blog friend's Multiple Myeloma is coming back :-(. His "M" Spike is recording at .3. Now considering my "M" Spike is 1.9, at my last blood test, it sounds like he is doing better than me. However, he has fought this cancer from a high "M" spike to zero and was in remission. Not what I'm looking at in any way. He is looking at getting back in the fight and I'm just sitting off the coast waiting to hit the beach sometime in the future.

It did bring up some deep feelings that I don't think he expected, duh... but that is the way of this, and I assume any cancer. It hits you at a very basic level. The diagnoses of cancer changes the way you look at life, your future and your family. It brings feelings up to the surface that sometimes you would just as well leave buried way down and left in the back of your mind. Also as a patient, when somebody you know starts back down this road you can't help but put yourself in their shoes. How would I deal with the cancer coming back? I'm not sure..and hope it isn't a problem for me anytime soon.

You hear cancer patients being called "brave" a lot. I always thought that was kinda silly. To me being brave was dealing with something scary "head on" instead of running away. So how could somebody be brave when they have no choice? I now know they are not being brave because of the fight but because of how they "choose" to handle the fight! It would be easy to drop your head and crawl into a corner and just let it happen to you. I'm sure there are patients out there doing that. But these brave people don't do that! They strive every day to walk the balance beam between the cancer and a hopeful life ahead. My friend always ends his blog with "Feel good and keep smiling! Pat", Pat, I hope you don't mind me putting that in here! In fact, he was the inspiration to me having a catch phrase at the end of my blog. It shows why I think he is brave, he has chosen the path of being positive and DOING something to stay focused on living his life. To not let the cancer take his life away before it is time.

I pray each and every day that I can be as brave as Pat. To use the situation given me in a positive way to help myself and others. I pray that maybe, just maybe, somebody will look at me someday and say he fought the brave fight. If so; I can thank people like Pat for showing me the way it is done! So... I will put a smile on my face, go pet my puppy, when my wife gets home I'll give her a kiss, hug my grandchildren and be thankful that I have a wonderful life, that this cancer can't stop me from living.

The body is sick, but thanks to Jesus the soul is alive and well...

Nothing new

OK... it has been a while since I have blogged.  I think the biggest reason is that nothing new is happening.  As you read in my last blog I have been taking care of a new puppy.  She is doing great, growing and learning. Other than having a large crate in the living room for her, and a gate stopping her from going down the hall way, life is mostly as normal as it can be with a puppy in the house.  I'm studying how to train a bird dog.  I've always had the best dog in the neighborhood, and I expect that to continue, but I've never trained a hunting dog.  I have a lot to learn before I can start Lucy's training.  She is less than 3 months old so she has over a month before the formal basic training starts at 4 months old.  Then she will start field training at 5 months.  I can already see the pointer, flusher in her and that's great!  This should all be fun, for her and me.

Really nothing is new on the Myeloma front.  I don't test again until April 1st.  I'm just getting over about a 5 week cold.  Jenni says we are changing roles on that.  She use to get bad colds and keep them forever and I always only had them for a few days.  Now you can reverse that :-(...  Not a bad trade off considering my friends on chemo for this.  Keeping them all in my thoughts and prayers.  I read their blogs each and every day.

Also nothing new on the job hunting front.  I've applied for several jobs that I would have really liked.  Most don't even respond and some I get to the phone interview.  Nothing seems to stick.  I'm doing my best to stay positive and keep looking forward... Something will come along.  I feel a good positive attitude will help in all areas of my life so I work hard not to let negative thoughts creep into my mind.

My grandkids are all fine and growing up.  A great joy for me every day.  I get to watch the 2 youngest girls each Tuesday afternoon so my oldest grand daughter can take dance lessons. When I get a job I'll miss that time.

That's about all from Steven land.  I hope everyone reading this is doing well.  I will try to be better at blogging in the future.

The body is sick, but thanks to Jesus the soul is alive and well...

It's been a long time since I have posted to my blog. I guess the biggest reason is that things are going OK. I'm on hold for my Multiple Myeloma. Being placed in smoldering has let me just go on with life...as my Dr. suggested.. I'm still doing the things that I need to do to stay healthy. Taking my pills every day. new to me, and staying as active as I can in this cold wet season.

It's still blowing my mind that I have cancer and all is on hold. That I can wait and do nothing right now. My mind understands it but I still have a heart to start doing SOMETHING! I've not lived my life waiting to do things. If it needed to be done I just did it. I have a very good doctor, he came very well recommended and I trust him. I'll continue that trust and follow the plan.

To help me go on and live my life.. we bought a puppy. Lucy is a Brittney Spaniel and is just over 8 weeks old. What a hand full, but very smart and a joy to have around. It took us about 5 days to get her housebroken but that part is behind us. She is now sleeping all night and is getting crate trained as I write this. She has just started, the last 3 days, going into her crate by herself. She gets her toys, plays with her blankets and pads etc... We put in a doggy door and that has been very helpful. She likes the backyard and spends about 1/4 of her waking time out there.

My grand children are also getting use to having her here. She runs and jumps on them and that scares them at times. My oldest granddaughter, Emily is very scared of her. I expect that to pass as soon as I get Lucy trained a little more to follow orders. That will be some time in the future. I don't start formal training until after she is 8 months old. She needs to be a puppy first.

I'm still looking for work. Northern California is higher than the national ave. for unemployment and I can see that as I look for work. Not much is out there that pays even close to what I get on unemployment. Mostly part time work :-( I'll keep positive and keep up the looking every day. Something will come, it always has. On a positive note, we only owe on our home so that is good. We have taken a hit on our savings but we can keep it together with my unemployment and Jenni's job!!

The medical bills are starting to come in but we have been able to handle those as they come. I don't have the final bill on UCSF or my local hospital. I expect a large hit again on savings when they do come in. We have a $2500 deductible so I know we will at least have to pay that. I'm just glad we can afford the Medical insurance because the VA isn't interested in a veteran who isn't living on the streets. They just keep turning me down! So much for government health care! On a positive note: There is a sweet VA employee at the VA regional Office by the name of Beverly. She calls once or twice a month to see how I'm doing. Very kind and caring person who is also frustrated that the VA isn't there for us hard working veterans, so.... I know it is the VA itself not the employees who are the problem. Ok..off the soap box and back to positive...

I feel great! My family is doing well. I still have very high positive feelings that 2010 will be a great year for the Ritter clan.

The body is sick, but thanks to Jesus the soul is alive and well...

Steven

Go ahead and live your life

Friday was my bone marrow biopsy review doctor appointment at UCSF. The one we have been waiting for since this all started in October. We were really ready to stop talking about the "I think" and move to "this is where you're at". We got that at this visit. So where am I at? I'm smoldering...

My Multiple Myeloma friends know what that means... For those who don't this is where I'm at:

I'm further along than being MGUS but I'm not full blown stage 1. My cancer plasma cell load in my bone marrow is right at 10%. I can stay in smoldering for years, if I'm lucky, or this might just be a phase I will move through. So far all the tests have pointed to this outcome. I'm very optimistic that I will stay here for a while! Dr. Martin did say I was very low in my Vitamin D. I don't think it really has anything to do with my M/M. He went ahead a ordered a re-test of my blood on Friday. They still had some blood left so I didn't have to get stuck again :) He will email me if I have to add vitamin D to my morning pill taking :-(.

Where do I go from here? Well I don't have to see Dr. Martin for a year if I stay stable. I have to take a blood test every 3 months. He wrote an order for that and I will take it to the lab on April 1st. The results will be sent to me, kinda strange but at least I don't have to pay for a Dr. visit. I will review the results and do nothing unless the numbers start to climb. If they do climb I will email Dr. Martin the test results and he will let me know if I need to step up the visits etc.

Once a year I will have to have a bone survey (x-rays), a bone marrow biopsy and a visit at UCSF. That will continue the rest of my life or until things move along.

One of the last things he said was "go home, forget about it and live your life". I don't think, at least for the short run, I will forget about it. I will go ahead and live my life. It isn't the best news I could have got, MGUS, but it is really close!

God let me meet a man in the waiting room. He was probably around 60 to 65 with a very nice wife. He was having a consult to figure out what the plan was for him after finding out the second bone marrow transplant didn't work! It put the news I got in perspective. It is a blessing to be where I'm at. My prayers go out to him, his wife and family. My new years resolution is to not waste this gift I've been given. To spend more quality time with my God, my wife, my kids, my grandkids and my friends (new and old)!!!!!

On other notes... We bought a new puppy, a Brittney Spaniel. She is 5 weeks old and we get to pick her up in a week or two. She is liver and white and adorable! We have had puppy's before so we know what is in store for us for the next year. It will be hard but a lot of fun.

I had to be taken by ambulance to the hospital on the Wednesday before Christmas because of really bad back pain. I couldn't move and wanted nobody to touch me. I have never had lower back pain before. They gave me some IV pain drugs, took some x-rays and then gave me some Norco and sent me home. I'm all better now. The strange thing is what has happened since then. I have had 2 problems. First numbness in my left foot and second left knee pain for several years. After this both are GONE!! Something must have moved...etc.. I never really thought about my lower back could be causing my knee pain. It is just another 2010 blessing. My foot numbness is back a little but still no knee pain. I'll wait for a month or so, as long as the pain stays away, and let all the Dr. bills come through. Then I will go see my GP to have him evaluate it all.

So that's it... I'm very happy where I'm at and 2010 is starting out great! I get to go ahead and live my life... what more could a man really want?

The body is sick, but thanks to Jesus the soul is alive and well...

Steven