The balance.... and being brave.

I just got the news, through a daily blog I read, that a blog friend's Multiple Myeloma is coming back :-(. His "M" Spike is recording at .3. Now considering my "M" Spike is 1.9, at my last blood test, it sounds like he is doing better than me. However, he has fought this cancer from a high "M" spike to zero and was in remission. Not what I'm looking at in any way. He is looking at getting back in the fight and I'm just sitting off the coast waiting to hit the beach sometime in the future.

It did bring up some deep feelings that I don't think he expected, duh... but that is the way of this, and I assume any cancer. It hits you at a very basic level. The diagnoses of cancer changes the way you look at life, your future and your family. It brings feelings up to the surface that sometimes you would just as well leave buried way down and left in the back of your mind. Also as a patient, when somebody you know starts back down this road you can't help but put yourself in their shoes. How would I deal with the cancer coming back? I'm not sure..and hope it isn't a problem for me anytime soon.

You hear cancer patients being called "brave" a lot. I always thought that was kinda silly. To me being brave was dealing with something scary "head on" instead of running away. So how could somebody be brave when they have no choice? I now know they are not being brave because of the fight but because of how they "choose" to handle the fight! It would be easy to drop your head and crawl into a corner and just let it happen to you. I'm sure there are patients out there doing that. But these brave people don't do that! They strive every day to walk the balance beam between the cancer and a hopeful life ahead. My friend always ends his blog with "Feel good and keep smiling! Pat", Pat, I hope you don't mind me putting that in here! In fact, he was the inspiration to me having a catch phrase at the end of my blog. It shows why I think he is brave, he has chosen the path of being positive and DOING something to stay focused on living his life. To not let the cancer take his life away before it is time.

I pray each and every day that I can be as brave as Pat. To use the situation given me in a positive way to help myself and others. I pray that maybe, just maybe, somebody will look at me someday and say he fought the brave fight. If so; I can thank people like Pat for showing me the way it is done! So... I will put a smile on my face, go pet my puppy, when my wife gets home I'll give her a kiss, hug my grandchildren and be thankful that I have a wonderful life, that this cancer can't stop me from living.

The body is sick, but thanks to Jesus the soul is alive and well...