Feeling great

Just a quick post today.  Just wanted to update the last post about my new medication.  All the side effects are almost gone now.  I expect that to get better and better as the week goes by.  My feet and hands keep feeling better.  I can tell when it gets about 8 to 10 hours since my last dose because my feet start heating up and my hands get less sensitive to touch.   Not even close to what I was feeling before the medication.  It keeps me on schedule taking my next dose.

I wanted to try a ride on my bicycle.  I got out about 7 miles and the wall wasn't there!  My legs didn't have that heavy fatigue feeling, my hands weren't asleep on the handlebars, and I could get a deep breath in on the hills.  I started to really push the ride!  I was enjoying being out there again.  It almost brought tears to my eyes..If I wasn't smiling like a little league boy with his first real home run!!  I must have looked silly to the people driving by.  A guy riding a bike with a great big grin.

My wife is liking the new and improved me.  She said it was nice having me back again.  I didn't realize how much this has affected me.  I'm sleeping all night and I'm sure that is a big part of all this.

So...It's Saturday and I'm off to my grand daughters soccer game.  This time in tennis shoes like a normal person.

The body is sick, but thanks to Jesus the soul is alive and well...

Figuring out the Puzzle and learning to talk to your doctor

I got my numbers back from my blood test and most I understood.  The ones I didn't understand, I made the decision to ask my Oncologist about so I made an appointment.  Now you have to understand that I was a Marine and a firefighter.  When things hurt or you don't feel up to par....so what...  You have a job to do so get it done! When you have a fighter aircraft to get in the sky or you have a fire or medical call, you have to give 100%.  It really doesn't matter how you feel.  People are counting on you to do the job and do it well. Lives really can count on that and the good marines & firefighters take that seriously.  I have learned that lesson well and mostly live my life that way.  So when I started to have numb burning feet..well I'll just live with it.


The other part of this story is I'm smoldering Myeloma.  Read up on that and all the information says that smoldering is asymptomatic.  I should not have any symptoms at this time so it can't be the myeloma!  Well; the hot feet got to the point that I couldn't wear normal shoes.  Jenni took me to buy sandals.  I don't really like sandals.  They are never the go to foot wear for me.  Last Saturday was cold and a bit rainy.  My grand daughter had a soccer game.  I wore my sandals but by the time I got to the field I had to take them off.  My feet were on FIRE, wearing sandals!  Less than 50 degrees and here I am with a coat and waving my bare feet in the air to cool them off.  I must have looked crazy!  I made the decision to speak to the doctor about them.

Yesterday was my appointment.  I was a little embarrassed to even bring it up.  I told him my sad story and he very quickly said "Myeloma induced peripheral neuropathy"! I said "but I'm only smoldering and I shouldn't have symptoms".  He smiled and said it not that simple. Wow, what a shock that this cancer isn't simple.  We as MM patients find that out fast. He gave me a prescription.

I got the prescription and took one about 6:30 last night.  Within a hour I wasn't feeling well at all. I was a little dizzy, a little sour in the stomach and sleepy.  I made it until 9:30.  I went to bed with feet on fire and sick.  I was really upset thinking that these pills were not going to work.  Next thing I know it is 5:30 in the morning.  My feet felt like feet, my hands felt like hands.  My arms hadn't gone asleep and my legs didn't ache.  I felt rested and ready to hit the day.  Now my wife is quietly sleeping and I wanted to wake her up and scream about how good I felt.  No, I didn't do that, but I wanted too!  So I waited until the alarm went off and she had her shower.  I started to tell her how I felt.  She summed it up better than I can so this is what she said, "You're acting like scrooge on Christmas morning".  I was, I wanted to go outside and tell everyone just how good it feels to be back to myself.  Can I do a handstand now????   The pharmacist said it could take up to 7 days for my system to get use to the medication.  A small price to pay to feel this good.

On my numbers... most were up but not so much as to be a concern yet.  Renal function numbers are out of normal, but not enough to worry about.  Cancer numbers are up but going up slowly.

I guess I need to learn to not be so Marine about this stuff in the future.  Myeloma is a complex puzzle that each of us needs to put together with the help of our doctors. What happens to you may not happen to me and visa-versa...  My myeloma has a symptom and it can be fixed, if I just let my doctor know.  Now comes the hard part.  To learn what is important and what is just normal.  It's complex but I think with my wife and doctor I'll find the balance.

The body is sick, but thanks to Jesus the soul is alive and well...

It's just a number & the blessing and a curse...

I got my test results today.  My first focus was on my M-spike... It has become my score of where my myeloma is now and is going.  It has ranged from 1.6 to 1.9.  It came in today at 2.0!  Looking at it logically it is really close to what it has been.  However; it is my first 2. I don't want a 2 in my score.  Now I also know that it varies from test to test and could be back in the 1's in 90 days.  I explained it to Jenni this way.  You have worked hard to get your weight under control.  You get down to 165.00.  You had a hard weekend and you look at your weight and it is 169.9!  Now you don't like that number but at least it didn't go up to the next level.  You get on the scale the next day and now you weigh 170.0.  Only one tenth of a pound but psychologically it is a big difference.  Crazy right???

Now I had some additional tests done.  I really didn't know what they meant.  There were several that were high and I needed to know why and what the test measured.  I went on the internet and found them one by one.  All but one said the reasons that they could be high...add several conditions that could cause it... Multiple Myeloma was always the first reason on the list.  That made total sense.

One was different.  It was a MCH test.  It was also high and I spent about an hour trying to find out what it was all about.  I finally found out when your MCH is high your B12 is low.  One of the symptoms of that was burning feet or hands!  I have been fighting that symptom for about a month now!

I called my oncologist and asked his nurse if it was a problem and should I see the Dr. about it? She said yes, with authority, and transferred me directly to the front office to get me in.  It will be nice if I can just take a B12 shot and go on with life. Myeloma can cause your B12 to get low because the cells that store it are affected by the myeloma... But... Self diagnoses using the web?  That is the curse of all this.  The web doesn't know me, my myeloma or all the stuff this cancer can cause.  They just dump all the reasons, causes and cures out there for you to figure it out on your own!  Maybe I'm right and it will be easy to fix, maybe I'm wrong and it won't be as simple.

The blessing is you can find out some things without the cost of a Dr. visit.  You hear a snip it of information and you get on line to figure it out.  The internet is always there to help. Then for some things it can freak you out!  For those times you just need to put the computer away, try to relax and trust your oncologist, the internet curse.

So I'll go and spend some time with my Dr. ask all the questions about the tests and hopefully go away with a better understanding of where I'm going...on this walk God has put me on!

The body is sick, but thanks to Jesus the soul is alive and well...

Out of my comfort zone

I'm trying something new... Something I have never done before....

I'm setting up a fund raiser through the MMRF.  It is a run that is already scheduled for June 12th in San Francisco.  http://sanfrancisco.giants.mlb.com/sf/giant_race/index.jsp


I have set up a team of 5 runners/walkers so far and I even have a couple of donations!  It is easy so far but the BIG fund raising hasn't started yet.  I'm working just as hard to see if I can get additional people to run/walk and get donations!  I created a fund raising page with the MMRF.  They take care of the $$ donated so I won't have to track and bank a bunch of cash and checks!  That's good news as I'm always unsure about people who are just asking for cash.  I wonder if that cash really gets to the cause.  This way it is directly through the foundation and my donors can be sure of where their $$ are going.

Here is my donation page:  http://www.active.com/donate/2010RunOwnRace/Stevenritter

I really hope this works well and my team and I can collect some serious $$ to fight this cancer.

I'll keep the blog updated on our progress.

The body is sick, but thanks to Jesus the soul is alive and well...

I guess I'm guilty of being dog crazy...

Jenni and I planned a nice trip to Tahoe to watch the grandchildren while my daughter & her husband did some business stuff. We also planned a day just for us. It was a great weekend filled with us, kids and fun.

One problem was what to do with our new 4 month old puppy. She is crate trained and doing really well and we were letting her be a puppy before I started doing formal training. We have never had to board our dogs before because of our previous situations. Kids at home or just having dogs old enough to take care of themselves, with a little help from family. We had left Lucy, our puppy, with her mom last time. However, Lucy is growing fast and is full of all the energy that a Brittney is known for. She has become just too much for her mom to handle.

We got a referral from a trusted friend about a family that did dog boarding close to our house. Now this friend has had dogs for years and we know them to be loving, caring people who I would leave Lucy with in a second! However, again Lucy is a puppy and a handful, and they are also getting use to a new dog in their family.

I called and spoke to the boarder and he seemed very nice. We went over Lucy, her being a puppy, me holding off on formal training etc... He seemed like a good fit and affordable. I made the appointment.

Upon getting there I was taken back by where they were going to keep Lucy at night. It was 2 rows of large dog carriers, the kind you transport your dog to the vet in. However, I told myself it was only at night and Lucy was small. The lady seemed a little strange and I got a uncomfortable feeling. We had to leave that day so I had few options. I went over Lucy with her and she put Lucy in the play yard.

About 1/2 hour before we left she called me. She said that Lucy's ears were really dirty and she would like permission to clean them. I said OK. She said she was surprised that she didn't have an infection. That surprised me because I had Lucy into my vet just a few days before. They always do the same thing each time. They pull her ears back and look/smell them, look in her mouth, press on her tummy ect.. Then they take care of whatever I have taken her in for. I was surprised that they didn't say anything. No problem having her clean Lucy's ears... wrong...

She then said that Lucy chased her cat. I told them Lucy chased cats. She is a bird dog. She chases them and when she gets close she just points at them.. That's what pointer's do... She doesn't want to catch it just get close and point. She said to correct it she used a pinch collar and the problem stopped. Remember it was 1/2 hour before we left and I didn't know what a pinch collar was. I asked if other than that, if Lucy was OK. She said she was.

On to the vacation....

On Sunday Jenni called and asked how late we could come get Lucy. She said 6:00pm no later. If we were later Lucy would have to spend another night. She then said that she forgot to tell me that the ear cleaning was an additional $15.00! Jenni got off the phone and said she wanted her dog back NOW! She also didn't have a good feeling about her being there.

I agreed and we headed home as fast as we could and not get a ticket. We got there with 20 min. to spare and took our puppy home. When we got home Lucy, as excited as she was headed right for her food. She ate and ate and ate. When she was done I checked her ears. They were clean except a cut where she nicked her ear trimming the hair.. Now I'm getting mad. I then looked up what a pinch collar was. 

 They used this thing on my puppy!  I looked it up and all the good trainers said you never use one of these things on a puppy!  They should only be used by a trained professional and only to change dangerous behavior like running into the street or fighting!  This boarder used one on my puppy without my permission!

Well I think you can guess I'm never going to take my puppy back there again.  These people are nuts.

I take a lot of pride in having the best trained dog in the block.  I have never had to resort to these types of training tools.  I think that if you use love, caring and a positive experience a dog will want to do what you are asking of it.  Training should always be fun and a positive experience for the dog.  It has always worked for me! And yes...I think I have always had the best trained dog on the block.

I'm really sad that Lucy had to go there.  It is my fault because I didn't do my homework and insure that she was in a safe loving environment.  Now I will take some time and go find a boarder that will fit Lucy's and my needs... It is only the right thing to do!

The body is sick, but thanks to Jesus the soul is alive and well...

A learning experience...

I made my last blog and then modified it and sent it off to some TV, News Paper and that type of places. I thought it was a different take on all this Health care stuff. I got a call from my local TV station asking me to do an interview on the subject...

I agreed and I made a promise to myself that I would just keep to the facts! No opinions, positive or negative, on the pros or cons of health care. Just my concerns about what has happened to me concerning government health care, my being turn down and what that holds for my future.

I knew there was a risk doing this. I have heard horror stories about people doing interviews that came out 180 degrees different than what they expected. I told myself that if I kept to the truth, didn't overstate what has happened and kept it positive, I should be OK... I was WRONG!!!!!

A very nice reporter came to my house. She asked me questions for about 1/2 hour. I explained what I went through and the outcome. I also explained Jenni's and our discussion about our finances and further treatment options. I also made the point that I was basing all this on my situation as it stands right now. We then went into the video part of the interview. She asked me basically the same questions and I gave the same answers. We then went around the house doing "set up shots". Later in the day she told me the interview would be on at 6:30pm.

I watched it and was shocked & horrified ! I was embarrassed and I really just wanted to crawl in a hole! It was NOTHING about why I agreed to do the interview! I came across as a whining, feel sorry for me person who is just waiting for government health care to solve my problems! They did that by basically running the "set up shots" and doing voice overs!

I emailed all my friends and family and apologized for what they saw and I emailed the reporter with my disappointment. The good news is that she agreed to pull my story from airing again. It could have aired at 11:00pm and on the morning show. I have my DVR set to record those times so we will see if she was being truthful with me.

I guess this is a lesson learned. Don't trust the media to report an honest story! I will never look at stories in the news in the same light again. It is really true, when you give an interview you don't know how it will be spun.

I think it is really sad that America has come to this point. That nobody can question the political correctness of a government program. Even if to just ask some simple questions. The story is killed, the experience is behind me and I'll keep smiling and supporting all my great new MM friends...

The body is sick, but thanks to Jesus the soul is alive and well...

Heath Care Reform

Jenni and I are scared.

They did it. They passed the health bill. So now what? I'm an unemployed prior Marine who has cancer and was flat turned down for VA Benefits (government health care). Now they have made it so my personal health care benefit premiums will sky rocket to the unaffordable level.

My assets and savings can only go so far. I don't see myself using them all up to fight this cancer and leaving Jenni without any reserve for her senior years. She asked me this morning "what can I do to help you now?" I had to tell her I didn't know. Her eyes teared up and so did mine. How can you tell a wife that we just have no options left.

One thing I have learned is this is an expensive cancer to fight. My savings would be gone in a matter of weeks/months when I start needing treatment. We would have to use it all, sell the house etc. I just can't/won't do that to Jenni! I have loved and cared for her too long! It cost me about now $3500.00 per year just to keep an eye on my cancer. That doesn't include any treatment. It can cost over $8000.00 per month for drug treatment, not including hospital or clinic costs!

They say that some Americans can expect Government benefits is 4 or 5 years..but only some of us... I've already been turned down for VA. They were very nice, they nicely showed me the door. Jenni will have to quit her job and we will have to sell our home to even come close to getting the VA to provide benefits. So what will we do until the new benefits kick in?

I will continue to do the things I've been doing. I will look for employment, I'll take my daily pills, eat right and exercise, and yes...pray..

I guess the only thing I can do now is tell my story to as many people as will listen until next November and maybe get a representative who will really care about his/her constituents.

This is also the last political post I will put in my blog. I understand that there are other M/M patients out there with other points of view. I hope this Health bill works out for them better than it will for Jenni and I. I don't want to make my blog uncomfortable for them to read. I pray for all of them daily to beat this cancer.

Jesus never promised us a long life here on earth. He only promised that he would be there for us when we need him. Like my pastor said "Pit happens"... I'm just glad that Jesus is here with us in this pit. I'll be fine... Now back to smiling and getting the best out of the life I have left!!!

What a sad day for America. :-(

The body is sick, but thanks to Jesus the soul is alive and well...