Life is Good

I think God is up in heaven just laughing at me....Yes, I think he has a sense of humor.

Last blog I was down about the savings $$$ just slipping away. I was really scared to do my taxes because of the unemployment etc. Well; we got a good refund back... The Lord once again is taking care of the Ritter clan! I'm glad he doesn't do things based on my limited faith...

The weather is turning and getting nice up here in Northern Cal. It is bumping up against 80 degrees this week. That has given me a good window to get back on the bicycle. That always helps my mood as I have a lot of alone time to think. It also makes my mood good because I'm doing something other than worrying about the stuff in my life. So I get a double dose of good mood and that's a good thing.

The puppy is growing like an unwanted weed! She is almost 20 lbs! What a hand full but I'm also really enjoying her. She is getting old enough to start some very basic training. She does great, still a puppy, but she is getting the basics down.

Really nothing new on the SMM front. I'm just waiting to go do my next blood test. That will happen April 1st. Staying on my vitamins and calcium. My cold is now gone :-)!!!

That's about all.. life is good at this point.

The body is sick, but thanks to Jesus the soul is alive and well...

Health care costs

Kind of a sad day today. I got ANOTHER bill from UCSF... They want another $700.00! Now don't get me wrong, they gave me great care and attention and I trust them. However on unemployment it is eating my savings alive! I consider myself blessed that we were able to save when I was working. I have the $$ for now.

I applied for Government run health care, VA benefits, they were also very nice... they nicely showed me the door. No help there. I have to be homeless and on the street for another full year before they will even consider me for health care. Plus Jenni works and because of that I still don't think I would qualify. Maybe I need to divorce her and then just live in sin...Just kidding Sweetheart!

So some decisions need to be made. I'm smoldering and at this point, not needing any treatment. The quarterly blood tests are all I need until next December, very affordable. They want me to do a bone marrow biopsy once each year with bone scans. My M-Spike is 1.9 right now. If my M-Spike stays below 3.0 I think I will forgo the biopsy, very high cost procedure. I can call Dr. Martin and get the whole body scan prescription and re-new the blood tests until I go past 3.0. That will save me all the high cost testing and hold the money in savings until I really need it. I know that comes with risks. I know of one M/M patient who's M-Spike was low but was at 80+ on the plasma count! However; nobody ever told me life was W/O risk. We need to manage that risk and move ahead...

I get emails from the support group in San Francisco and they offered help with deductibles and co-pays but I don't think I'm there yet. There are patients who couldn't get much needed "treatment" without that help. I don't want to go there and maybe prevent that help from being used for a person who is actively treating this cancer. I know with smoldering myeloma I'm in a strange category and being in this situation doesn't make it any less weird.

Soooooo....I'm keeping a smile on my face and a spring in my step knowing that today is the day the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it! He will take care of me or call me home... Both are acceptable options!

The body is sick, but thanks to Jesus the soul is alive and well...

Trip to San Francisco & MMRF Seminar

Jenni and I made a day trip to San Francisco. We walked the pier and had a nice time at lunch together. We went to Jack's crab shack near the pier. Don't go there... It was just OK food and the beer I had was watered down :-(. The lunch cost a bloody fortune and wasn't worth it. We then went to Pier 39 and bought some candy for home. Driving to Union Square I got stopped by the SFPD because I can't drive in the city. I didn't get a ticket, just a warning and I'm sure a good laugh by the officer.. City people always get a good chuckle about us rural folk. Then Jenni and I shared a great piece of cheese cake at Cheesecake factory at the top of Macy's.

After that it was time to go to the seminar put on by the MMRF. Several good speakers and 4 topics of interest to M/M patients. I came away with a much better knowledge of how the MM cancer cells work and how they are taking that knowledge and targeting treatments to attack the cells. They went over the new and improved treatments and the future of clinical trials. They also had a speaker on supportive treatments. It was a lot of info but well worth the trip. Jenni just said her head hurt from all the data!

I did come away with a feeling that I was there too soon in my walk with this cancer. They made several mentions of smoldering M/M patients but they stopped before giving any helpful information. I'm getting a little frustrated because I feel SMM patients are the step children of the M/M world. We just wait & wait & wait.... It might be better for me to consider going to this kind of seminar after I need to start treatment. I trust my MM oncologist, Dr. Martin (he presented the clinical trials part of the program), so to wait until I'm in active MM might be a better plan. In their own words, "things are changing at the speed of light". Information gained now might be out of date by the time I'm needing treatment.

I really don't know what to expect & when. Like I've said before I'm not good at waiting, I like to take clear and quick action. However; when "they" talk about smoldering myeloma "they" just always say watch and wait.

We met a great couple setting in front of us. He also has SMM and was diagnosed about the same time as I was. I got his name and contact information and gave him mine. It will be nice having a contact who is in the same stage as I'm in! They have been to some support groups and Jenni and I would like to meet them again at one if we can work it out.

I guess I'm being selfish about all this. The patients with active MM are the ones who need the help more than me. So... in that vein... I'll stop complaining and be glad I'm where I'm at, and the blessing of the time I have before I really need treatment! OK..I'm back to my same old smiling self.....:-)

We left before the question and answer part because we had a long drive ahead of us to get home. Jenni and I had a nice dinner at Chili's and we got home about 11:30pm. That's really late for me as I'm a morning person but we made it OK.

All in all a great day of fun and information and both Jenni and I are glad we went. I would like to thank the MMRF for putting it on.

The body is sick, but thanks to Jesus the soul is alive and well...

The balance.... and being brave.

I just got the news, through a daily blog I read, that a blog friend's Multiple Myeloma is coming back :-(. His "M" Spike is recording at .3. Now considering my "M" Spike is 1.9, at my last blood test, it sounds like he is doing better than me. However, he has fought this cancer from a high "M" spike to zero and was in remission. Not what I'm looking at in any way. He is looking at getting back in the fight and I'm just sitting off the coast waiting to hit the beach sometime in the future.

It did bring up some deep feelings that I don't think he expected, duh... but that is the way of this, and I assume any cancer. It hits you at a very basic level. The diagnoses of cancer changes the way you look at life, your future and your family. It brings feelings up to the surface that sometimes you would just as well leave buried way down and left in the back of your mind. Also as a patient, when somebody you know starts back down this road you can't help but put yourself in their shoes. How would I deal with the cancer coming back? I'm not sure..and hope it isn't a problem for me anytime soon.

You hear cancer patients being called "brave" a lot. I always thought that was kinda silly. To me being brave was dealing with something scary "head on" instead of running away. So how could somebody be brave when they have no choice? I now know they are not being brave because of the fight but because of how they "choose" to handle the fight! It would be easy to drop your head and crawl into a corner and just let it happen to you. I'm sure there are patients out there doing that. But these brave people don't do that! They strive every day to walk the balance beam between the cancer and a hopeful life ahead. My friend always ends his blog with "Feel good and keep smiling! Pat", Pat, I hope you don't mind me putting that in here! In fact, he was the inspiration to me having a catch phrase at the end of my blog. It shows why I think he is brave, he has chosen the path of being positive and DOING something to stay focused on living his life. To not let the cancer take his life away before it is time.

I pray each and every day that I can be as brave as Pat. To use the situation given me in a positive way to help myself and others. I pray that maybe, just maybe, somebody will look at me someday and say he fought the brave fight. If so; I can thank people like Pat for showing me the way it is done! So... I will put a smile on my face, go pet my puppy, when my wife gets home I'll give her a kiss, hug my grandchildren and be thankful that I have a wonderful life, that this cancer can't stop me from living.

The body is sick, but thanks to Jesus the soul is alive and well...

Nothing new

OK... it has been a while since I have blogged.  I think the biggest reason is that nothing new is happening.  As you read in my last blog I have been taking care of a new puppy.  She is doing great, growing and learning. Other than having a large crate in the living room for her, and a gate stopping her from going down the hall way, life is mostly as normal as it can be with a puppy in the house.  I'm studying how to train a bird dog.  I've always had the best dog in the neighborhood, and I expect that to continue, but I've never trained a hunting dog.  I have a lot to learn before I can start Lucy's training.  She is less than 3 months old so she has over a month before the formal basic training starts at 4 months old.  Then she will start field training at 5 months.  I can already see the pointer, flusher in her and that's great!  This should all be fun, for her and me.

Really nothing is new on the Myeloma front.  I don't test again until April 1st.  I'm just getting over about a 5 week cold.  Jenni says we are changing roles on that.  She use to get bad colds and keep them forever and I always only had them for a few days.  Now you can reverse that :-(...  Not a bad trade off considering my friends on chemo for this.  Keeping them all in my thoughts and prayers.  I read their blogs each and every day.

Also nothing new on the job hunting front.  I've applied for several jobs that I would have really liked.  Most don't even respond and some I get to the phone interview.  Nothing seems to stick.  I'm doing my best to stay positive and keep looking forward... Something will come along.  I feel a good positive attitude will help in all areas of my life so I work hard not to let negative thoughts creep into my mind.

My grandkids are all fine and growing up.  A great joy for me every day.  I get to watch the 2 youngest girls each Tuesday afternoon so my oldest grand daughter can take dance lessons. When I get a job I'll miss that time.

That's about all from Steven land.  I hope everyone reading this is doing well.  I will try to be better at blogging in the future.

The body is sick, but thanks to Jesus the soul is alive and well...

It's been a long time since I have posted to my blog. I guess the biggest reason is that things are going OK. I'm on hold for my Multiple Myeloma. Being placed in smoldering has let me just go on with life...as my Dr. suggested.. I'm still doing the things that I need to do to stay healthy. Taking my pills every day. new to me, and staying as active as I can in this cold wet season.

It's still blowing my mind that I have cancer and all is on hold. That I can wait and do nothing right now. My mind understands it but I still have a heart to start doing SOMETHING! I've not lived my life waiting to do things. If it needed to be done I just did it. I have a very good doctor, he came very well recommended and I trust him. I'll continue that trust and follow the plan.

To help me go on and live my life.. we bought a puppy. Lucy is a Brittney Spaniel and is just over 8 weeks old. What a hand full, but very smart and a joy to have around. It took us about 5 days to get her housebroken but that part is behind us. She is now sleeping all night and is getting crate trained as I write this. She has just started, the last 3 days, going into her crate by herself. She gets her toys, plays with her blankets and pads etc... We put in a doggy door and that has been very helpful. She likes the backyard and spends about 1/4 of her waking time out there.

My grand children are also getting use to having her here. She runs and jumps on them and that scares them at times. My oldest granddaughter, Emily is very scared of her. I expect that to pass as soon as I get Lucy trained a little more to follow orders. That will be some time in the future. I don't start formal training until after she is 8 months old. She needs to be a puppy first.

I'm still looking for work. Northern California is higher than the national ave. for unemployment and I can see that as I look for work. Not much is out there that pays even close to what I get on unemployment. Mostly part time work :-( I'll keep positive and keep up the looking every day. Something will come, it always has. On a positive note, we only owe on our home so that is good. We have taken a hit on our savings but we can keep it together with my unemployment and Jenni's job!!

The medical bills are starting to come in but we have been able to handle those as they come. I don't have the final bill on UCSF or my local hospital. I expect a large hit again on savings when they do come in. We have a $2500 deductible so I know we will at least have to pay that. I'm just glad we can afford the Medical insurance because the VA isn't interested in a veteran who isn't living on the streets. They just keep turning me down! So much for government health care! On a positive note: There is a sweet VA employee at the VA regional Office by the name of Beverly. She calls once or twice a month to see how I'm doing. Very kind and caring person who is also frustrated that the VA isn't there for us hard working veterans, so.... I know it is the VA itself not the employees who are the problem. Ok..off the soap box and back to positive...

I feel great! My family is doing well. I still have very high positive feelings that 2010 will be a great year for the Ritter clan.

The body is sick, but thanks to Jesus the soul is alive and well...

Steven

Go ahead and live your life

Friday was my bone marrow biopsy review doctor appointment at UCSF. The one we have been waiting for since this all started in October. We were really ready to stop talking about the "I think" and move to "this is where you're at". We got that at this visit. So where am I at? I'm smoldering...

My Multiple Myeloma friends know what that means... For those who don't this is where I'm at:

I'm further along than being MGUS but I'm not full blown stage 1. My cancer plasma cell load in my bone marrow is right at 10%. I can stay in smoldering for years, if I'm lucky, or this might just be a phase I will move through. So far all the tests have pointed to this outcome. I'm very optimistic that I will stay here for a while! Dr. Martin did say I was very low in my Vitamin D. I don't think it really has anything to do with my M/M. He went ahead a ordered a re-test of my blood on Friday. They still had some blood left so I didn't have to get stuck again :) He will email me if I have to add vitamin D to my morning pill taking :-(.

Where do I go from here? Well I don't have to see Dr. Martin for a year if I stay stable. I have to take a blood test every 3 months. He wrote an order for that and I will take it to the lab on April 1st. The results will be sent to me, kinda strange but at least I don't have to pay for a Dr. visit. I will review the results and do nothing unless the numbers start to climb. If they do climb I will email Dr. Martin the test results and he will let me know if I need to step up the visits etc.

Once a year I will have to have a bone survey (x-rays), a bone marrow biopsy and a visit at UCSF. That will continue the rest of my life or until things move along.

One of the last things he said was "go home, forget about it and live your life". I don't think, at least for the short run, I will forget about it. I will go ahead and live my life. It isn't the best news I could have got, MGUS, but it is really close!

God let me meet a man in the waiting room. He was probably around 60 to 65 with a very nice wife. He was having a consult to figure out what the plan was for him after finding out the second bone marrow transplant didn't work! It put the news I got in perspective. It is a blessing to be where I'm at. My prayers go out to him, his wife and family. My new years resolution is to not waste this gift I've been given. To spend more quality time with my God, my wife, my kids, my grandkids and my friends (new and old)!!!!!

On other notes... We bought a new puppy, a Brittney Spaniel. She is 5 weeks old and we get to pick her up in a week or two. She is liver and white and adorable! We have had puppy's before so we know what is in store for us for the next year. It will be hard but a lot of fun.

I had to be taken by ambulance to the hospital on the Wednesday before Christmas because of really bad back pain. I couldn't move and wanted nobody to touch me. I have never had lower back pain before. They gave me some IV pain drugs, took some x-rays and then gave me some Norco and sent me home. I'm all better now. The strange thing is what has happened since then. I have had 2 problems. First numbness in my left foot and second left knee pain for several years. After this both are GONE!! Something must have moved...etc.. I never really thought about my lower back could be causing my knee pain. It is just another 2010 blessing. My foot numbness is back a little but still no knee pain. I'll wait for a month or so, as long as the pain stays away, and let all the Dr. bills come through. Then I will go see my GP to have him evaluate it all.

So that's it... I'm very happy where I'm at and 2010 is starting out great! I get to go ahead and live my life... what more could a man really want?

The body is sick, but thanks to Jesus the soul is alive and well...

Steven