Tough as nails, practically indestructible & the inconvenient truth

First; let’s just talk about the facts that we know right now. I have cancer, Multiple Myeloma, Stage 1. All my physical findings were good to great… No “body” problems, kidney’s working well, bones strong, no blood related issues etc. The only bad test results were the cancer related proteins and they were ALL HIGH. That is what caused the diagnosis. So the cancer is active and doing what it does, producing proteins and growing. So what are my next steps? First I have been referred to UCFS for an evaluation and a Bone Marrow Biopsy. They might have me do that locally or the same day I go to SF, we have to wait until they call for that decision. I don’t know when that will be scheduled yet. Because this cancer thumps the immune system I have to get up to date on all my shots. I’ll set that up today with Dr. Civilier. Then after the UCSF appointment I go on a drug to keep my bones strong. Then I get watched… I will have to have a bone marrow transplant. When I have that depends on how fast the cancer progresses. That can’t be determined for some time, so we wait. It could be a long time away.

That being said, what is my prognosis? There isn’t a cure… Dr. Feeman said the average life span, based on a bell curve, is 10 years. So, ½ the patients don’t make it to 10 years, some a lot less, ½ the patients live longer than 10 years, some a lot longer. I won’t know where I will fall until I know the pace of the cancer. The pace is already “pre-determined” so there is nothing I can do to speed it up or slow it down. I can do things to help my body prevent, or slow, the damage done by the cancer. Follow Dr. orders, get into good physical share, eat well and watch my weight.

How do I physically feel? Great.. there are NO symptoms yet. It is all test results. I do what I have always done, then add some physical activity and watch my diet. Other than that all is as it was before I was diagnosed. One thing Dr. Freeman said was concerning my hospitalization for my meningeal enchephilitis. He said the reason I got so sick was probably the Myeloma… That tells me I have had this for some time. I need to prevent getting sick the best I can (while still enjoying my life and family). Wash my hands more etc.


How do I feel emotionally? Since my enchephilitis I have had a saying: I’m tough as nails, practically indestructible…(my family usually roll their eyes as soon as it is said). I have to ask myself, what does that mean and do I believe it or do I just say it? Well, I do believe it so what does it mean. It means when things are hard, and I have stuff to do, I do it anyway. My first thought was “I have cancer!! Take care of me, fix it”. Then after a short time of self-pity I realized that just wasn’t me. I have a family to take care of.. lawns to mow, ceiling fans to install, appliances to fix, grand children to take care of etc.. I just have this inconvenient truth of cancer in my life. I can let it take over my life or I can do what I have always done and take care of what needs to get done. I know I have a fight on my hands. No problem, I was a US Marine and I know how to fight. I know I will have to deal with this, I will. This fight is mine and mine alone. I can’t expect Jenni, my kids or friends & family to do it for me. I can fight and I will fight. Fighting is a verb so they will see me doing the stuff discussed above. I’ll just add it to my list of things to do. It will all get done! I’m a very lucky person. I have my God, my wife, my family and friends to help me through this. I will take that help, when needed.


Mostly I have God in my life. He will never test me beyond what I can handle. I take comfort in that. He has the plan and I will trust that plan and keep being TOUGH As NAILS PRACTICALLY INDESTRUCTIBLE!!!